Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Menopause Momma

O.K.! Menopause Sucks!  And medically induced early menopause sucks even more!  Holy cow!  Due to breast cancer I was put into early menopause because of the chemo for my type of cancer, at the ripe age of 35, and then again at 38 when my cancer had returned and moved the doctors performed emergency oophorectomy which is like a partial hysterectomy where they remove the ovaries and fallopian tubes.  I have wined and griped to my mom so many times over the past year about stupid menopause, and at least we can have a laugh but lord have mercy it sucks. 

My hubby, who I love thinks it's funny when I am miserable and breaking out my cute leopard print fan out of my purse and fan desperately at my face.  I could seriously kick him sometimes.  I don't think he thinks its funny to be mean, I think he just finds my overreaction to it as funny.  But still in the middle of a hot flash momma doesn't feel funny, and sure doesn't find anything funny about her misery. 

I will say, winter is my friend, and snow is wonderful.  We spent a family weekend up in Big Bear which is a local mountain retreat here in Southern California and I can honestly say that there are No Hot Flashes in the snow!  The only time I had one was when I was going to bed and because we rented a condo, the people below us on the first floor had their fireplace going our condo was nice and cozy and we didn't need any heat.  I slept in a tank top and pajama pants with a light blanket that's it!  Being outside in the snow was AWESOME!!! 

On the very long list of why menopause sucks is also the fact that alcohol intensifies hot flashes and will also trigger them.  UGG!!!!  So just when you are sitting down and enjoying that nice big glass of red wine and winding down from the day BAM!  Your face starts to flush, your brow begins to sweat, your body starts to heat up from tip of your toes to the top of your head and you want to start stripping down like a hooker when sailors are on leave! 

Have I mentioned I don't like menopause?  The only good thing with menopause is the lack of monthly menstrual periods and need for birth control.  I will confess that there are times that I am glad for menopause but the dislike definitely out ways the good. 

We need a menopause momma support group, that meets in a big commercial freezer, especially during summer.  There should also be prizes awarded to the menopause momma who didn't lose her mind for the month, or didn't scream at her kids, and especially for the momma who didn't give her husband a cold for needing to sleep with the a/c on in March! 

Menopause Mommas Unite!!!

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Dealing with anger and cancer as a Christian

Anger is a common emotion with cancer, and it is often understood and accepted as cancer is not something anyone would purposely ask for.  We know that anger is a normal human emotion, but as a Christian I know not to hold onto anger, but to give it to God.  This is easier said than done.  It is so easy to feel angry and especially angry at or about ourselves. 
  For the first 3 years of dealing with my cancer diagnosis and treatments I could not help but look at my cancer as a foe, a mortal enemy that I would triumphantly vanquish with all the fury in the world.  Cancer was my arch enemy and I vowed to be my own super hero.  This works for me, I am a big Wonder Woman fan ever since I was 3 years old watching it on T.V.  I am a fighter at heart and I honestly don't know how to be anything else when faced with a protagonist.  This is a good thing to be as a cancer patient, but not so good as a Christian.  I needed to cut back some of my fighting instincts and increase my faith, acceptance and peace. 

"Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret - it leads only to evil."  Romans 37:8 NIV

I am a little embarrassed to confess that I found this verse months after being diagnosed with my cancer reoccurrence and metastasis.  I was so very angry.  You know that term "so angry they could spit nails" ya that was me.  I was devastated when I found out the cancer had come back, and not only come back but move and eat a hole in my iliac bone.  I was scared and angry.  Angry that the doctor's had failed me, angry that chemo didn't work, radiation didn't work, surgery hadn't worked, the medicines didn't work.  I was so very angry, livid even at the cancer itself.  Thankfully I was not angry at God.  But oh how angry I was at the cancer, I cussed the cancer out the entire drive home from the doctor's office.  Not a long way, but still, crying and cursing the cancer for filth!!  I kept calling it f***ing cancer.  Not very Christian like at all.  I wish I had handled it better, that I had the spiritual maturity to handle the devastating news better.  I know I could have done far worse, but also far better and I regret it.  However, it triggers my fighting instincts and led me to conduct more of my own research and lit a fire to learn more about cancer and nutrition, organic alternatives, biblical healing and encouraged in me a desire for spiritual maturity.  I can't be angry at that. 

Once I got past the anger that the cancer had returned (this took about 6 months) I started to see the good, and positive aspects of my cancer returning.  This is not an easy thing to do, it is so easy to get sucked into the depression and festering anger.  I had been walking the edge of a Grand Canyon sized cliff with depression looming before me as I tip toe along the edge trying not to fall.  I didn't want this, I didn't want to feel that way, it has been long enough I'm over being so tightly wound up with the anger and resentment of my cancer returning.  It's time to deal with it and move on, get back on the horse so to speak.  It was seriously to the point that I couldn't recognize myself anymore, I couldn't see or feel my inner Wonder Woman, my fighting spirit and show no mercy to cancer attitude. 
I cannot tell you when it happened, only that one day about 6 months later after I was told I was incurable that I didn't have the anger anymore, it simply vanished.  That doesn't mean I can't bring it back up, because if you get me talking about it I will get aggravated.  But I don't feel it all the time, carry it with me every day or feel it with the intensity that I did before, and I am so relieved and thankful for that. 
My cancer has a purpose, I have always known that I have or will go through the ups and downs in my journey with cancer for a reason and to be able to identify with other patients and help them with their journey as well.  I can say that the Christian in me overcame the anger in me.  God is Good!!

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

The Cancer Cutie Cookbook

Proper nutrition is essential in the fight for life for a cancer patient.  This is why I wrote the Cancer Cutie Cookbook.

Many doctors tell their patients to eat whatever appeals to them when they are going through surgery or treatments as the nausea can be quite difficult.  This approach is wrong!  While eating something that sounds appealing may minimize the chance of vomiting it is important to stay within good nutritional lines.  Now don't get me wrong I have had my share of fast food hamburgers and I regret it, but I try to focus on the present.  You can instead eat what appeals to your appetite AND help fight cancer or side effects.  After learning how to do this I wanted to share the info and help others.  I saw patients wasting away to mere shadows of themselves, and this only strengthens the cancer and weakens the patient making them more likely to die of their disease.  I have also seen doctors advise drinking high sugar, high soy pre-made meal supplements that have known cancer causing ingredients! (shocking)  No no no!  I'm sorry you are either going to help me fight my cancer or you are helping to kill me with it and that's all there is to it.
I chose to fight, and to help others fight as well which is why I wrote The Cancer Cutie Cookbook.  This is an inspirational cookbook with not only yummy recipes but advice and tips from female cancer patients, survivors or caregivers who know first hand what it is like to go through cancer as a female.  I supplied some of my own tried and true tips, advice and recipes and the nutritional information.  During the past 4 years I have had the pleasure of meeting and befriending some wonderful women many of which provided recipes, tips and quotes for this book.  The 1st of it's kind a book for cancer patients written by cancer patients who are there in the cancer trenches with us.

Please take a moment to check out The Cancer Cutie Cookbook and let me know what you think.
Proudly available at Amazon.com http://www.amazon.com/dp/1508443750/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_dp_T4Y.ub1BXYAT3

or through my website www.cancercutie.com

xoxoxoxox Kat http://www.amazon.com/dp/1508443750/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_dp_T4Y.ub1BXYAT3