Ok you may have cancer, but does cancer have you? There is a big difference in how you think about this, and it is very true when the doctor's say that positive thinking is a powerful tool. I will be the first person to tell you cancer effing sucks! Dealing with cancer is not for the weak, it's hard, it's awful, it hurts, you feel sick, no one wants it. But here's the thing my body may have cancer, meaning it is in fact inside me, or has done damage to my body. I have it, it doesn't have me. I am the one in control, not the cancer. Yes cancer has limited my mobility and energy and all that BUT it doesn't stop me. I might take it easy or it might make me take a pause on some things but overall I am not stopped, and it doesn't control me.
How can you stop cancer from bossing you around? I'm glad you asked.
1) Realize that you are in fact in control. Who is calling the doctor? The cancer? No. You are.
Who is choosing the medical treatments to fight this disease the cancer? No. You are.
Who is putting food in your mouth? You Are!
You are in control. So you tell the cancer inside you to back the Eff off and die. It is a little bitch that has got to go! You are in control not the cancer and you need to say it. Say it every day in your head, out loud, in the car, in the shower, whenever and wherever you need to, to remind yourself and the cancer that you are in control.
2) Focus on foods that boost your natural body immune system, take vitamin supplements that target your specific cancer or support the immune system in general. Take the time to learn if your cancer has any hormone connection and then stay away from hormone rich foods and supplements. (I.E. estrogen and soy products for ovarian or breast cancers)
3) Enjoy life. You woke up today right? Enjoy it, don't let cancer rob of you of a beautiful day. There is ALWAYS something to enjoy or be thankful for. You just need to find it.
4) Take control of your medical care. You have to be your own advocate or have someone close to you advocate for you. Doctor's are overworked and overwhelmed and can't always give every patient 100%, so do your own research, ask questions, look into non-traditional treatments, herbal, Eastern, etc.
5) Spiritual. Take time to feed your soul. Our emotions are tied to our body and greatly affect our healing. Find ways to feed your soul, a nature walk, sitting by the duck pond in the park, meditation, yoga, prayer, church, animal therapy, painting, watching the sunset. Balance isn't myth, it is important, and more importantly it is healthy.
Next time you say, "I have cancer." I want you to say, "I have cancer... but it doesn't have me!"
Dig deep and find that stubborn 2year old inside of you who threw a tantrum on the floor and use her to remind the cancer of who is really in control of you! You are!
Thursday, September 27, 2018
Monday, September 24, 2018
Getting your sexy groove back after/during cancer
It's important as adults that we feel vibrant and sexy, especially as we start to age. For me, when I lost my right breast to cancer I didn't feel less than a woman. Sex and feeling sexy was the furthest thing from my mind. However, as a married woman I was worried my husband wouldn't find me desirable and sexy to him. After all my 4 year old son already said I looked like a boy with my head buzzed from the chemo, I had one breast and scars all over. I felt like shit so I must have looked like shit too! Well I did put make-up on every day and tried to be "cute".
I was determined not to give in to the ugliness of cancer if I could help it. So I bought fun earrings, wore my make-up, got a great red lipstick, painted my nails and just tried to look as "normal" as I could not only for my children's sake as they were little but for myself as well. You often hear that if you look good you feel good, there is even a cancer charity named that. There is truth in that statement, I have experienced it in cancer, and other illnesses or injury. Your sexy worth should not be defined by the hair on your head, or lack thereof. Bald can be beautiful! For both men and women. Bruce Willis looks great! Amber Rose is rocking it! So are many of my fellow cancer friends. Gorgeous!
Pin-ups for Cancer is a wonderful group I belong to here in California and they host a pin-up photo shoot for survivors and their families or caregivers and it's a blast! So many women are treated to being pampered with hair and make-up being done by professionals and getting dressed up and having fun. For many this is the first time in months that they have felt sexy and it is beautiful to see these women re-discover their beauty.
If you are lucky enough to have a spouse that is standing by you while you go through hell of cancer treatments I can assure you that they still see you as you were on your wedding day. Love and sexual appeal is not 100% visual. It is spiritual, emotional and a little laughter can go a Long way! I am often asked why I didn't have a nipple reconstructed or tattooed on my reconstructed breast. I always answer that I wanted to have more fun surprising my husband with a sticker on it instead. From yellow happy face emoji stickers to scratch-n-sniff stickers we have had some fun with it. I love it, and I am so glad I made the choice I did.
My advice to you is to get your sexy back. Good song by Justin Timberlake, and good advice. It doesn't matter if you are married or not, you deserve to feel desirable and sexy. Buy a gorgeous pair of lacy panties, or a sexy pair of high heels, a bold lipstick or hey some scratch-n-sniff stickers and have fun with it.
I was determined not to give in to the ugliness of cancer if I could help it. So I bought fun earrings, wore my make-up, got a great red lipstick, painted my nails and just tried to look as "normal" as I could not only for my children's sake as they were little but for myself as well. You often hear that if you look good you feel good, there is even a cancer charity named that. There is truth in that statement, I have experienced it in cancer, and other illnesses or injury. Your sexy worth should not be defined by the hair on your head, or lack thereof. Bald can be beautiful! For both men and women. Bruce Willis looks great! Amber Rose is rocking it! So are many of my fellow cancer friends. Gorgeous!
Pin-ups for Cancer is a wonderful group I belong to here in California and they host a pin-up photo shoot for survivors and their families or caregivers and it's a blast! So many women are treated to being pampered with hair and make-up being done by professionals and getting dressed up and having fun. For many this is the first time in months that they have felt sexy and it is beautiful to see these women re-discover their beauty.
If you are lucky enough to have a spouse that is standing by you while you go through hell of cancer treatments I can assure you that they still see you as you were on your wedding day. Love and sexual appeal is not 100% visual. It is spiritual, emotional and a little laughter can go a Long way! I am often asked why I didn't have a nipple reconstructed or tattooed on my reconstructed breast. I always answer that I wanted to have more fun surprising my husband with a sticker on it instead. From yellow happy face emoji stickers to scratch-n-sniff stickers we have had some fun with it. I love it, and I am so glad I made the choice I did.
My advice to you is to get your sexy back. Good song by Justin Timberlake, and good advice. It doesn't matter if you are married or not, you deserve to feel desirable and sexy. Buy a gorgeous pair of lacy panties, or a sexy pair of high heels, a bold lipstick or hey some scratch-n-sniff stickers and have fun with it.
Monday, September 10, 2018
What do you do when a friend is diagnosed?
Not knowing what to say when you hear that a friend or family member has been diagnosed with cancer is a common feeling, even to the most gifted of speakers. A cancer diagnosis is devastating, there is no getting around it, and for a survivor to have it return and hear those words for a 2nd or 3rd time, "you have cancer" for me it was more devastating than the first time.
Recently I have seen posts on Facebook of my fellow breast cancer sisters posting that their cancer has now metastasized labeling them stage IV or incurable because now the original space infected by cancer has now moved. Although there is a lot of research into breast cancer there is not a lot (or enough) research into metastatic cancer.
A cancer patient and their family live daily with the fear of cancer returning. When it does it is heart breaking. As a survivor myself I feel like I don't know what to say to my friend who now has to go through chemo all over again, lose her hair all over again, feel like crap all over again. All in the fight to live to see her grandkids born.
What do you say to a friend or family member who is diagnosed with cancer???? Whether it is the 1st, 2nd or 12th time they are diagnosed you can always say, "I love you, and I am here for you, whatever you need. Even just to hold your hand or sit with you."
#stageIVneedsmore #cancersucks #cancercutie #Iamthefaceofstage4
Recently I have seen posts on Facebook of my fellow breast cancer sisters posting that their cancer has now metastasized labeling them stage IV or incurable because now the original space infected by cancer has now moved. Although there is a lot of research into breast cancer there is not a lot (or enough) research into metastatic cancer.
A cancer patient and their family live daily with the fear of cancer returning. When it does it is heart breaking. As a survivor myself I feel like I don't know what to say to my friend who now has to go through chemo all over again, lose her hair all over again, feel like crap all over again. All in the fight to live to see her grandkids born.
What do you say to a friend or family member who is diagnosed with cancer???? Whether it is the 1st, 2nd or 12th time they are diagnosed you can always say, "I love you, and I am here for you, whatever you need. Even just to hold your hand or sit with you."
#stageIVneedsmore #cancersucks #cancercutie #Iamthefaceofstage4
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