Thursday, October 27, 2016

Why do some die and some live?

Why do some die and some live?

A lot of cancer survivors ask themselves or even their pastor, therapist, or doctor; “why was I spared? Why did I live when others just like me die?”  I asked the same question, wanting to know why I was spared when my mother in law died of her cancer while I was fighting my own at the time going through chemo.  My mother-in-law was a good woman, she had a huge heart, loved God, a devote Christian, she saw the good in people, rarely cursed and was just a good person.  I too am a Christian but a very flawed one, and when I compare myself to her I consider her to have been a much better person and Christian.  So other than the obvious reason that I am younger and have 2 small children to raise who need me, why was I spared?  Well I may never really know the reason why until I am able to ask God myself, but I “know” what my heart and soul tell me, what I believe with all of my body, what the Holy Spirit put on my heart the day I was diagnosed with breast cancer. 

God has a plan to use my journey with cancer for good, for His glory and to help others.  I have a purpose and passion to use my cancer to help others.

I have struggled with this since I was diagnosed in 2011, as much as I want to give 100% of myself to the task God has given me I am also going through treatments, surgeries, recovery, side effects and tests for my own battle with cancer.  Not to mention I have a family, I am a wife, mother, daughter, friend and I am trying to maintain my life and my health.  This isn’t easy for someone who is stage 4 metastatic with two kids in elementary school and a husband in retail. 
"And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on that day when Christ Jesus returns." (Philippians 1:6)
This verse helps to get me through especially when I am struggling with my survival guilt and questioning why was I spared. 
We shouldn't get caught up and dwell on the why we are spared from whatever tragedy we survive.  I know it is common to question, but we really shouldn't waste time on this.  Enjoy the fact that you are still alive and move on with your mission in life.  There is a reason why some die and others live, and we may not know that reason until we meet them in heaven.  Find your purpose, find your "why" you were spared, there is obviously something you are meant to do that hasn't been accomplished yet.  Share your story, share your struggle, there are those out there in the world who will be touched by it, who will be comforted by it. 
As survivors our duty is to share our story for those who aren't able to, we share ours and offer the world our hope, strength, and truth.  We are a bright light in a dark world, shine bright my fellow cancer stars.
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