Monday, September 15, 2014

Riding the roller coaster of cancer

Riding the roller coaster of cancer


As a cancer patient myself since 2011 I have had the typical cancer treatments.  Radiation, chemo, surgery, medical reactions to meds and surgical glue, popped stitches, biopsies, pain management, horrible blistering, literally being hammered on for a needle biopsy 100% awake and feeling all of it!!!!! (seriously like something out of the movie Saw!)  Barbaric comes to mind.  But God's grace carried me through it all.  (I did however inform my doctor and the hospital that if the radiologist who tortured me while awake for the hammering of the biopsy that I would punch him in the face if I saw him.)  (I'm ok now but was serious about doing that for months)

Cancer is a roller coaster, like life it has it's ups and downs.  The difference is when you are a patient on the cancer ride of your life the ups and downs are FAR more extreme than life in general.  Cancer is really a bitch, it's true.  The key is being a bigger one!  This is actually something I told to my  mother in law who was battling kidney cancer that went to her brain, when her cancer was diagnosed it was already aggressive and stage 4.  She had a rough time of it and God bless her she stayed strong as long as she could, and as a lady of faith in her greatest pain she doubted and was angry at God.  She was giving in to her cancer, honestly she told me she was done, there was no hope, and I told her she needed to "bitch up" pardon the expression.  I went into instant bitch mode when I got my diagnosis I was devastated and scared yes, but I went into instant battle mode it's the only thing I know how to do in the face of adversity.  Unfortunately my mother in law was too good of a lady to allow herself to "bitch up".  She got her wings within a year of her diagnosis.  I however have been going strong.  I am not a better Christian than she was or more important I just have a different mission, and that is to share my story and help as many people struggling with the bitch that is cancer as I can. 

 I found verses in the bible that helped me through the past almost 4 years on the cancer coaster.  I 100% credit my survival and blessings to God and His grace that has carried me through the past 4 years.  I saw my oncologist last week and my blood looks great, she calls me her miracle patient.  I continue to shock and amaze my doctor in a good way.  I have to schedule my next pet/ct scan for 3 weeks from now, this is a dreaded test for me and for a lot of patients.  Pet/Ct scans show weather cancer is there/growing/or gone.  We all hope for dying and gone but it doesn't always turn out that way.  That is the test that told my doctor my cancer had returned last year, and I just know I will pissed off if it shows it again this year.